To seek after Your own heart

Yes, I'm back from my leave of absence...I'm sorry everyone (sydney)!
Wow....what to blog, what to blog! I don't know what to say a lot anymore. I just had a conversation in which I fully understood that silence is TOTALLY golden. Why waste words when silence means so much more?
So when I was younger, up until I was about twelve....without going into detail--I had it all. EVERYTHING. If I wanted it, I could have it. I could be loved, I could cry, I could laugh, I could be rude....
but there's a point where my life crumbled. If I wanted it, I'd have to deal. If I got it, OHGOODNESS AWESSOMMMEEE!!!
During prayer a few weeks ago, I said to God, as I have MANY times before, "why me?"
So I finished this blog. Then it got deleted. BLARGGGGHHHH. I was fairly upset.
Anyway. Why me?
Yesterday I was watching Evan Almighty...which, by the way, is not as good as Bruce Almighty. But I love Morgan Freeman. What can you do?
So...there's a point in the movie where Evan is freaking out because all these things that don't normally happen to him are happening...i.e. birds are following him, he's growing a beard, he somehow bought eight lots next to him...So he says to "God" (Morgan Freeman)
"Why me?" and God responds "You said you wanted to change the world. I do too."

And for being an interpretation of God, Morgan Freeman dressed in white, somebody really had to think about writing that line. I kind of have a five minute challenge about surrender...but I already did one, it needs to be written, I have to ask Nate...but surrender isn't just half-giving. Like with Evan, he has to grow a beard, build an ark, deal with the animals, and convince his family he's not crazy. In the end, he's right, proving that he wasn't crazy, but still...
God wants to change the world. He can't just rain fire down from heaven (well, he could), so he uses us. We change the world, one act of random kindness at a time, until every knee bows down before him and every tongue confesses he is Lord. I've been hearing a lot of songs about that lately. Pretty much that exact line, too.
That's over six billion knees. I guess 12 billion if you're using both...and that's a lot of tongues. How crazy would that be? One planet. One God. 6 billion people. One purpose!
It's pretty mind blowing.
"Jesus Christ / Take my life / Take all of me"
And that's why I'm doing what I'm doing. Going to college for what some may perceive as impractical. Following a passion that only God has put inside of me. Facing criticism for what I believe to be eternally worthwhile. I mean, Jesus changed my life. Why can't he change somebody else's?

Answer: He can. And he WILL. He already is.