So. We went to Ridgeview detention center yesterday. Why I'm mentioning that, I don't know, since most of the people who read my blog were there.But if you weren't there, it's just that...a detention center. It's in the middle of NOWHERE in Aurora, and it looks like a high school. A really nice college-looking high school. We had service and I gave my testimony. Which is funny.
Funny in a kind of like "that's weird, and it's not a bad thing" way. I cried giving my testimony, and I can't tell you why....well, it was because I talked about feeling alone, worthless, and more alone. And crying myself to sleep. And just sitting and crying. To anybody who hasn't heard this (or to those who have heard this many times like Emnet [I've heard this four times and it GETS ME EVERY TIME]), I'm not that way anymore (Don't get me wrong, it's not bad to cry. It's absolutely healthy). I didn't find God, and He didn't find me. He was there all along, I had just never noticed. If you ever want the full story, lemme know. I can most DEFINITELY tell you!
But preparing for this day, I was like "Gosh, God, what do I talk about?" These guys go through more than I could imagine, and yet I'm supposed to encourage them with my life story. God revealed to me that though we may not have the same circumstances, we have the same insecurities, fears, and feelings. So I told them the truth. And that was all. Nobody likes to admit that they didn't find self-worth, that they cried themselves to sleep, or even lost everything. Not to these guys who know how it feels, but to the people that see me at least every week and have no idea. And I'll be real honest, gossip's no fun. That's all I'll say about that.
But this kid came up to me after, his name's Tyler, and he was addicted to heroin. And he said "You should talk to heroin addicts. It's a dark and lonely place, and crying yourself to sleep happens often."
I was just like, whoa. Leah, who really doesn't even know what heroin looks like, should minister to people who are addicts. WEIRD.
So I guess I'm realizing that God uses us in the strangest ways. And it's awesome. It just takes a willing vessel. And like the title, I hope He's lifted high in everything I do.
Love, Leah
awwww *hugs* this is so sweet of you ! if i were to see you giving your testimony, i would probably cry too!
ReplyDeletewhich reminds me, last night, i cried while praying. it was a silly/sincere prayer. i was laughing/crying. but it felt so good to shed some tears. it was LONG over due. and you're so right... it's OKAY to cry :D
I'm so happy that we have God on our side.
By the way.. this is COMPLETELY random but have you seen chronicles of narnia lion witch and wardrobe? doesn't remind you of the whole story about Jesus? omg.. i never get enough of watching it. lol
-abby
Each one given that day was purposed and God-breathed, and I know I already told you, but your testimony was truly powerful. That's awesome hearing words of encouragement from a guy who received your message! Just think of how many more guys it impacted and you don't even know to what extent.
ReplyDelete"I was just like, whoa. Leah, who really doesn't even know what heroin looks like, should minister to people who are addicts. WEIRD." <-- i literally laughed out loud!! i don't know if you remember me but i'm Emnet's cousin, we met at the Brooke Fraser concert. i would LOVE to hear your full testimony!
ReplyDelete