And Then There Were None

"Like some days you might say something stupid, and that's the part of you that's still ten. 
Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama's lap because you're scared, 
and that's the part of you that's five. And maybe one day when you're all grown up maybe 
you will need to cry like if you're three, and that's okay. That's what I tell Mama when 
she's sad and needs to cry. Maybe she's feeling three"
I never know what to say anymore. I'm eighteen and well on my way to flying the coop, and I still feel like a fourteen year old having nightmares about my first day of high school. It's scary. And as much as people tell me that I'm ready for this shift in seasons, I'm not.  I don't think I ever am. Discomfort is where God has free reign, and I guess what scares me is that if He has full reign, I don't have any. At all.
It's kind of like, you know, when you're riding your bike down a steep hill, and you keep picking up speed...and more speed, and even more until you're holding on for dear life and thinking about which bandaids you'll be picking out in a few minutes. That's how I feel. Picking up that kinda speed is exhilarating, but holy crap if I don't pee my pants, I don't know what'll happen!
I guess this is me just expressing my thoughts. The stupid part of me that's still 14. And that's okay.