Try it again, breathing's just a rhythm

Say it in your mind until you know that the words are right
This is why we fight
So there's a blog I've wanted to write for about a week now. I'm listening to "One More Time with Feeling" by Regina Spektor and that lyric is pretty much exactly what I'm talking about. I'm one of those people that get my best inspiration when:
a) taking off my makeup
b) trying to fall asleep
c) showering
I've heard that the best cartoonists think of their subjects in the shower. I find that strange while reading cartoons...like, this work of art was thought of while this guy was showering. I don't really wanna know.
Sorry. Random  thought right there. But while falling asleep for the last week, I've been thinking of words. Just in general. Words. Palabras. And somehow, I came to the conclusion that impacting sentences come with three words. Or two, if you use contractions (I'm, You've, etc.)
For example:
I'm pregnant

Some of these are more impacting then others, and there's one phrase I have in my mind right now that I didn't put up there. It's not what I'm talking about in the next little anecdote, but I'll talk about it in a bit. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that I have a pregnant friend. That's not a secret, considering she's 8 months pregnant and full to bursting. But the day I found out, it's like everything went silent. I could tell she was saying "I'm pregnant", but I couldn't hear it. I think mostly it's because I couldn't acknowledge that, but the room was also full of people that were superficially going about their homeroom duties. How could people be so shallow and mindless when I just found out one of my closest friends' lives would be forever changed? I had to repeat it in my head to realize that it was REAL. This was happening, no matter how much I didn't believe it. It's like I'd wake up in the days that followed, like any other day. My thoughts would wander until I ran into the thought brick wall. She's pregnant. The girl that I had met in Algebra I. The one wearing the purity ring, like I should be. She had physical evidence of that promise, then it was broken.
I love her to death, and I'm pretty sure this baby will be frickin ADORABLE, but her time to fulfill the whole child/marriage thing came much before mine. Don't get me wrong, a baby at 16 isn't something I want to happen, I just wanted hers to come later. But the thing is, God made that baby for "a time such as this", that's the best way I can put it. Their lives aren't going to be easy, but everything that happens to them will be God-directed, and I can rely on that instead of worrying about her.
And while thinking about the future of their lives,  I'm going to talk about something random.
There are two people I'm slowly learning about. Both have had bad experiences, heartbreak, and things that otherwise wouldn't be considered normal. One I've just met recently, one I've known for a little while...but I hope that both will learn to trust me, and that I can prove myself to be trustworthy.
So I guess this was just a blog post to get rid of my thoughts.
Another thing: names. For some reason, I've been thinking a lot about names lately. Not just because Sonia and I are having a baby name battle, but for some reason I can't find. Like I've been talking to this kid Aaron more than usual lately, and I just love his name. Aaron. That doesn't mean I love this kid, faithful blog readers, do not worry. Just his name. And everytime I think about names, I have to think about my own.
Leah. If I had been named Rachel, it could've been better. She was desired in the bible, while Leah was kind of the mercy rule of marriage. But just because God is funny, He gave me this name. Or actually, because he's totally serious
Back at Apex, Sonia had said something. She had said that I was called Lovely Leah as a kind of oxymoron. I believe that to be totally true, and I'd like to be just one giant oxymoron. Although people may label me as one thing, I am completely above and beyond that. It's completely encouraging, and I love it.
Oh well. I'm having a difficult time writing right now, so I think I'll go do something.

I love you all.
-LL