its.your.love.that.has.saved.me

It's a day where I'm kinda sick of everything.
Anyway.
ANYWAY. I tend to say that a lot. So, today, I have a list of Leah's mannerisms:
anyway.
okay so.
with that,
obviously.
i dunno.
aaaannnndddd

I think that's it. So...lately, I've lost my words. When speaking, when writing...it's just...left.  Especially when I'm trying to express something that I have strong feelings about.
Like, for example: when you're really excited to find out the results of something. And in anticipation, you just happen to have friends asks you why you're so...antsy, happy, confused-looking, etc.
You tell them, and of course, they say "tell me the results when you get them!"
Well results didn't turn out the way you anticipated. At all. Quite the opposite, really.
Then for the follwoing three days, people remember what they had said and say "SO DO YOU KNOW?" And I have to re-live the emotions as I tell them the story.
Like today, I had to explain it for the billionth time.
Which turned into a "long story short". Then I had to go eat a cookie. It's like I'm okay with the result, I learn to live with it, I realize it's not a big deal, then I'm thrown right back into the funk of rejection.
It's not like somebody died. Nobody's pregnant (this time), and I'm just as broke as I was yesterday (minus $25, which was used to buy 2 theatre t-shirts that i HAVE to buy. I could've bought two pairs of jeans at ross. legit).
But it's just put me in a funk. Best way to describe it.
So. That's it. I'm listening to Jack Johnson, just because he's my calming. Legit. I don't even know why.
And "Sea of Love" by Cat Power. That usually gets me.

Guess what? I REMEMBERD WHAT I WANTED TO WRITE ABOUT!
The girl that I wrote about last....hhmmmm....Friday? Yes, Friday. After I wrote the blog, I was like
"Ya know Allie, I'm always so mean to you! Or at least I act mean. I've never hugged you in my life."
So I hugged her. And said
"You're just really nice. You're a good person, Allie, I don't think anybody tells you that"
And it's like from that point forward, she decided we were cool. She talks to me, she jokes with me, she stands next to me in warm-ups. She laughs at my jokes, even!
It's just nice to know that words can have that kind of a positive effect. I'm tired of learning the negative effects, ya know? I read a verse yesterday in my devotional:
"The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl"
by the way, the YLT translation sounds like Yoda. I just realized this. Look it up and you'll know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
Gold apples in a silver bowl. That's pretty...legit. This scripture is pretty much like my making my life right now. Because I want people to say things, I want things to happen, I want to climb ladders! But everything works out just right.
The "result"...I could've found out earlier, later, maybe not at all. But it was destined to happen when it did. It had to go the way it did, and I had to experience it.
But on the other tangential hand, (vocab word heck yes!) it's when God tugs on your heart to say something to somebody.
"I don't know why, but I feel like I should tell you that you look really good today"
That can pretty much make somebody's life. See, I would know. That tends to happen to me a lot. God's uncanny sometimes. Like "whoa...how did you know that?"

So that's my "blurb" for the day. Again, quoting Sydney. I love that chica.
-LL