9.29.2009

through.the.pain.she.opened.her.eyes

I'm sorry, dear friends, that' it's been such a long time since I've blogged. It's like, I'll be talking to somebody, and think "That would be one awesome blog" yet when I get home, I forget. And homework takes priority.
I've figured out that the longer I wait to blog, the more comments I get. I gotta say, I LOVE getting the feedback. Not to a ridiculous point, but it makes me think about what I've said, or even what I haven't said.
I'm lovin the new layout. It reminds me of apple computers and their ever-awesome backgrounds.
I just got Sydney's letter today, which always makes my day WAY better. Especially because it was a Hello Kitty envelope, but that's a different story.
I'm not gonna just write out the whole letter, but there was one thing that stuck out to me. It's a rather normal thing to think, but she put it in a way that was like...whoa. She hit the nail on the head.
So she said:
"I've been thinking a lot lately. Thinking about guys, God, and love."
And I was like...dude. Sydney. You just put the ENTIRE content of my brain into a sentence. Sure there's school, sleeping, etc. to fit into our days.
But in the middle of that three-word sandwich, there's God. Which is essentially the easiest one to deal with. He's there. He loves you. He'll always be there. He'll always love you. He's all powerful, He's all knowing. He's omnipresent, He Himself IS understanding. There. You got it.
If I were to write her sentence again, I'd say "God, love, and guys"
because love is the middle, where things to gray for most.
I never know how to spell gray. Grey? Gray? Grey? Grae? I have no idea. Like on a math worksheet today, there was a name. Gheri. I said Gary. Apparently it's Jerry. Why don't you just frickin spell your name normal and stop making pre-calc students suffer?
Love is the gray area where things stop making sense. Some people tend to associate it more with guys, while not a whole lot of people in high school associate it with God.  If I were to stand up in front of a pep rally, grab the microphone, and ask how many people would give up dating for their ENTIRE high school and college career, how many would raise their hand? What if they had to give up partying, drugs, drinking, even swearing until the end of high school? How many would really follow through?
Not many. To stand up in a pep rally by yourself anyway would be difficult. It might be easier for some to be like "I have AIDS" than to say "I believe that Jesus Christ is alive, God loves me, and I'm forgiven"
But if I had to make that decision, to stand up while everyone is sitting, I'd do it every time.
I've been having difficulty with that lately. Accepting that I'm the only one standing up. Especially when people are trying to get me to sit down, while being pelted with flying objects.
Obviously, standing up while everyone is sitting down makes you much more likely to be hit by said objects. A lot of people aren't going to agree, so I'm guessing these projectiles aren't going to be roses and other assortments of flowers. They're going to be unpleasant.

I'm learning that. The hard way. Lily among thorns has NEVER so aptly applied. Especially last night. I was taking a class full of almost 20 adults over 21. And there's me, the 16 year old, in my old roxy slip ons, dr. seuss notebook and all. I'd like to think that they admired my effort at taking an adult level class, but I'm not too sure. A lot of them thought I was younger than I am, though. But oh well!


Today's not a good day for a thoughtful blog de Leah. So expect one this weekend, perhaps, while I'm not writing letters or theatre reviews.

I love you all.
-LL

p.s.- tomorrow is class theme day for Homecoming.
It's....VACATION!
seniors- jungle
juniors- disneyland
 sophomores- beach
freshmen- hollywood.
Ours is definitely more legit, but I'll be dress as Alice from Alice in Wonderland ALL DAY. And people will give me strange looks. Lily among thorns. Pretty literally, I'd say. My guitar class should be pretty interesting.

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