I found the title I just picked to be ironic. Quite ironic.
Well, this little blog diddy is a continuation of the last one.
I still feel very stupid, even though two of the people that know both of us "approve" of him. Doesn't help my situation here!
I'm actually JUST starting to pack for Apex. Oops.
Well...after our little miniature band practice, I'm re-learning to sing from my diaphragm! That's right, I just spelled diaphragm right the first time! I feel like a genius! Anyway. We had to do this ridiculous thing in Theatre where we had to put books on our stomachs and lay on the ground. So I guess I've gotten pretty good about speaking from my diaphragm from six months ago...
I just feel smart spelling out diaphragm.
So I guess this is my last blog before Apex. I hope to come back a completely different person!
And Elijah comes home tomorrow...yet I'll already be gone. Doesn't that just SUCK? My spell-check doesn't like the word doesn't. I'm pretty sure it's a word, dumb computer.
That's like how my phone can't spell diaper or taco.
Don't ask me how I know.
Right now I'm looking at my guitar. And it's pretty much just staring me in the face saying "play me"
But I don't wanna, guitar =[
Sorry lovely. I think I actually named my guitar Rain-child. It was one of our silly days in guitar I.
Anyway. I'm unmotivated to pack. I seem to be one of those people that needs a LOT of motivation to do anything.
My nails keep getting stuck under the keys of my laptop. How is that happening?
I'm sorry this blog is so random. My thoughts are everywhere right now.
Like here my emotions: tired-thirsty-nervous-anxious-excited-energetic-contemplative...
I also have to pee. But I don't think "pee-filled" is an emotion.
how can I be tired and energetic at the same time? I don't know.
Well...hmmm. I can never make up my mind on what to bring to camps and stuff. I'm convinced my suitcase is entirely too big. But I don't wanna take a smaller one. I figure if I don't fill it up, I'll cram my special down pillow in there.
Of all the emotions I mentioned to you, nervous is the one I'm feeling most right now. See, I'm stupid when it comes to guys.
Such as thes-con. With Nick, I was so weird around him that I pretty much didn't eat for two days. I lost my little tummy-pooch, but what do ya know, it came right back. Not the point.
I get very weird with guys I'm interested in. Not usually to the point where I don't eat for two days (which only happened once) but to the point where I plan things to respond with to things he's going to say. That hasn't happened yet for this one, I think I just used to do that through middle school and freshman year.
But like I said in my last blog, I say something simple in response to a question from him, and think "STUPID LEAH STUPID! Why did you just say that? Are you stupid? Yes, yes you are!"
My mind is one busy place. And when it's shouting "STUPID LEAH!" at me, it's like a chorus of "stupid leah"s to a point where that's all I hear.
So I'm not butterfly-in-the-tummy nervous...but like heart palpatations nervous. I know that sounds weird. It definitely IS weird.
OH MY GOODNESS. I told Michelle this earlier, but I got electrocuted! Just a little bit though. I was trying to take my laptop charger out of the plug and my finger somehow got in the way of the electric current.
And it was CRAZY! Because that's how God's presence feels...
Being electrocuted like I was didn't hurt...it felt weird, but it's like...
it's like the warmth you have when you lie in your bed on a cold December morning, curled up in a ball...just waiting for your alarm to ring and call you from the comfort of your warm bed to the cold hardwood floor.
Just saying that makes me wanna go to sleep hahaha.
Anyway. The thought is very scary, like God's presence can be a little intimidating, but it feels good!
And I know I just made an analogy of God's presence like being electrocuted. It's just the feeling. That's it.
Anyway. I'm still doing that thing where somebody random texts me and I expect it to be him. I feel like such a stalker.
I think that's it for now. My thoughts are very jumbled right now.
Can I just say on a finishing note that I'm falling in love again with multiple Hillsong United songs?
Like right now it's "All For Love" and "For All You've Done"
okay just kidding those are regular Hillsong. Hillsong anything is what I mean to say!
NOW I'm done.
-LL
13. Cry through an entire movie. (I'm actually not sure if this is a good goal to have)
13 b. (Which I pretty much just realized by talking to Kyra) Jump into somebody's arms romantically (without them dropping me or making me feel too fat for them to catch)
okay. really random. but in band we had to do this thing where we breathed with abs whilst lying on the ground & as we flexed & exhaled, our partner would step on our stomachs. it was crazy haha. okay. that's all. had to be random for ya(:
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