You wanna know what sucks? Being a teenager. Lemme tell ya.
Especially when it comes to drama, high school, and guys.
The problem of the moment: Guys with a side of drama. Served with a dipping sauce of a little crush. And maybe a soft-serve high school drama involving a pregnant friend.
Yeah I know. This SUCKS. I'm sorry if you don't like that word.
It bites.
It stinks.
Es no bueno.
I even put a little espanol in there, if that tickles your fancy!
But I think I forgot what it was like to have a crush. I mean I've been "single" for...mmm....almost 6 months now, believe it or not! And I feel like it's been years...because I've grown up SO quickly.
I just did a teenage girl girly-sigh. Ya know, the dreamy kind? WHAT AM I DOING?
Like...I know that I DO NOT wanna date. The next guy I date legit WILL be the man I marry. And i'm 85% sure that I do not wanna marry this guy.
Maybe more. But part of me wants to just say "screw it" ya know? And I TOTALLY know that's my flesh. That's the average teenage girl lovely. But I'm NOT that girl.
But I mean...sigh! I really forgot what it was like to have a tad bit of a crush.
I don't even want anything to come of it! But the kind where he comes in the room and you're like "I'm acting stupid. Do something non-stupid. DANG IT LEAH I SAID NON-STUPID! NON-STUPID!" I say something and think "Goodness Leah why don't you just jump into his arms? Do you realize how much ground you just lost in him not knowing by saying that?"
And you wanna know something really stupid? I just realized he's a senior. I have a crush on a guy that I know little-to-nothing about.
I'd really like to slap myself across the face right now. Please don't slap me, though. I don't appreciate pain.
But UURRGGG!!! I hope it goes away. By the way, I'm terrible at flirting. So terrible I don't do it at all. Which I've formed as a habit. I DON'T flirt. I don't read hints either.
So apparently i'm accidentally flirty. Even though I'm actually quite competitive, which can come across as being flirty. And of course I don't read the hints they're dropping back from my accidental flirting, so it's like a giant car-crash of emotions.
This bites like the dickens. Wow.
Wanna know something lame? I'm texting Laken. That's not what's lame...that's rather awesome. I love that chica. But every time my phone vibrates, I half-expect it to be him.
...Yet he doesn't even have my phone number? I find myself to be a tad bit paranoid.
Dang.
I need a life.
Please save me from my teenage emotions!
So I forgot to say something about the pregnant friend. All's going well for her, apparently. She's still cute as a button...Her little bun-in-the-oven is 2 pounds now (crazy!) and she got over the whole morning sickness.
I was actually talking to my friend Carly (a chick that I haven't seen in forever that needs to hang out with me more!) about how you wake up and wrap your head around one of your best friends being pregnant. And I know this happens a lot to other people, it's not public high school until somebody gets expelled, somebody goes to rehab, and somebody gets pregnant.
I have 2/3 so far, and I'm only halfway through HS!
So anyway. Back to the pregnancy. It'd be different if I just knew her from somewhere...like "Oh that chick from Algebra/Biology/homeroom? She's pregnant." But she was the first friend I ever made in high school...I sat next to her in Algebra. We were pretty much the two smart ones in a class full of dumb people. But one of the first things I noticed about her was her purity ring.
I myself STILL don't have a purity ring, I guess because my parents aren't motivated to buy one...anyway. I guess that purity ring didn't mean anything to her. Now instead of that pink and white innocent looking ring, there's a rock in its place. An engagement ring.
I think it's wonderful that her and her boyfriend are looking long-term after producing a little bundle of joy...but I REALLY hope it works. I mean, I hope the marriage works out. But I don't know.
It was just...weird seeing her last night. She's not MASSIVELY pregnant, but you look at her and think "There's no doubt she's pregnant". And yet, her purity ring. I always wonder what she did with it. Like I don't have one and I've stayed pure, and she does but she didn't.
That's all for now.
Okay. Psyched for Apex. Adios for now, all.
-LL
12. Read two books in one day.
Yes fianlly another person in the world who is like me with texting!! I do that quite often with my crush. I am sorry if you are feeling very awkward. I really am not trying to make you feel that way. But yeah. I always think it's him but it never is. I know exactly what you mean!
ReplyDeleteP.s. I'm glad your friend is doing okay. It's so great that you are sticking with her even though you feel the way you do about it.
I am lame and watch a show called '16 and Pregnant' and most of the girls on there lose their frineds just becasue they are pregnant.
It's so important that she has you there for her. Especially becasue you are such a powerful lady of God, and you just being there would make her feel even more better.
~Shell
Kinda like what Shell said, there's definitely a reason that you were placed into this girl's life to be a huge blessing to her. So keep on encouraging her!
ReplyDeleteAnd strange enough, I think I'm developing a crush too.. which I really don't want to either. And even worse, he's a senior who is literally the biggest theater actor in the whole school (and now our student body pres)! ahh! we all need to talk, soon!