Have you ever felt alive? Or even had a turning point in your life that you think, "Wow. What have I been missing?"
I can say that this has happened to me multiple times. Or actually, almost every day.
It's actually been a very...good day. Compared to yesterday, anyway.
I know a half bajillion Jessicas, and I have a label/nickname for everyone of them.
Jesseca the spig.
Jessica singer.
Jessica English.
Just to name a few. But I also have Jessica the flake.
I saw her for the first time in a year TODAY. It's been a year (give or take a few weeks), and the reunion was a tad on the hilarious time, considering I was tackled into the bar at Panda Express with orange chicken in tow.
What's weird is that she looked at me like I was a different person! She gave me a GIANT squeeze and said "Ah! Leah! You're just so...PRETTY!"
I understand that I've grown physically, ya know, whatever. But I've realized from the five minutes I spent with her that she hasn't grown at all.
I don't mean physically (because she's like 5'1, crazy short) and I could care less if she changed her hair, she's ABSOLUTELY beautiful the way she is, but that's not the point.
She hasn't grown spiritually, emotionally, & mentally. She's learned how to plot quadratics and whatever, but she's not learning.
I love her to death. You have to understand. But I'm growing in the wisdom of God. Kyra touched on feeling alive in her latest blog post. Yet you can only go so far in that feeling without Jesus Christ. I know that Kyra really doesn't have a certain religion, which she says makes for interesting conversation...but I find her to be an extremely witty, thoughtful, smart chica.
Like I said earlier, I've have multiple occasions that I've felt more alive. In that, a part of me has died.
Weird, right? Nope. The more that I die to myself, to my fleshly desires and foot in this world, the more access I give to God, to his holy thoughts, to his dreams for me, putting my foot in heaven.
So with that (which I say a lot. 'with that' i mean.), I've had "Now That You're Near" stuck in my head constantly for the past...while. This song reminds me of the joy that God's put in my life. The joy that NEVER leaves.
I'll give you a little bit of a story right now. Somewhat random.
I like dissecting verses in the bible to get their REAL meaning. Not just the "oh that's nice, glory to God" meaning. But the HALLELUJAH meaning. All praise to Him meaning!
So with that (there it is again, dang it!), I give you a very well known scripture that to which many say "glory to God, when's brunch?"
"...Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning."
-Psalm 30:5
-Psalm 30:5
That's the scripture I think about when I'm upset. God lets me wallow in my misery for a little while, then he says "Hey. Woman of God. Get a hold of yourself."
He lets me think about it in a fleshly, earthly way, then makes me think about it from His perspective. This scripture doesn't say rejoicing might come in the morning. You know, if God's feeling like it, he'll give you a little bit of joy to make up for you crying yourself to sleep the night before...If God's in the mood that day.
NO. It comes. Every time. No matter what. Rain or shine, tsunami or tornado, I WILL rejoice.
I love that.
Back to what I was saying. Listen to it.
He lets me think about it in a fleshly, earthly way, then makes me think about it from His perspective. This scripture doesn't say rejoicing might come in the morning. You know, if God's feeling like it, he'll give you a little bit of joy to make up for you crying yourself to sleep the night before...If God's in the mood that day.
NO. It comes. Every time. No matter what. Rain or shine, tsunami or tornado, I WILL rejoice.
I love that.
Back to what I was saying. Listen to it.
Anyway. This song...like my dream, is pretty much saying "Take me, God!" And in the last year, I've grown to being able to say that. Wanting nothing more than to worship Him forever and ever.
That's where I find my life...by losing it. I find COMPLETE happiness in the life I have in Jesus Christ, and my life is totally in Him. It's more of a challenge on some days than others, but I do it regardless.
Well, my thoughts are now scattered...but I will write later! I always do.
-LL
8. Go an entire day with my shoes on the wrong feet.
I skipped #6 Go to California and #7 get a crazy tan.
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