All for love, the sacred pray "Abba Father, have your way"

Hmmm...I always start a blog having NO IDEA what to write. Yet somehow, it always works out.
I think I'll write out a letter that was given to me for my birthday. Read and I shall explain!
Leah--Loved of GOD
This year I believe you will learn much.
1- How much GOD truly loves you...
2-How He can be your best, closest friend.
3-How to hear His voice...
-will you do what He asks you to do?
4-You will understand more clearly why people are the way they are.
5- You will realize more specifically the things you are really good at... and how our LORD wants to use those talents.
6-You will find satisfaction and perfect peace as you unite with Jesus...more than ever before!

Will you take the time to sit at His feet, read, and learn?

Do you realize how much I want to say YES! to that final question?
I got this letter a month ago...and I was like, oh, that's nice. Thanks Mr. R...(who's actually tall/blonde Jared's dad.)
But I was digging around my nightstand for the lyrics to Justin's song, and found this letter.
In the past month even, I've been growing towards saying yes to that final question. I still want to be even MORE confident in that yes.
Not a "yeah, I guess"...but a "YES, Lord, I will take the time to get to know You, to love You, to praise You!"
I will address these 6 points individually. Buckle up because this could be a long blog!
and like I always say, I LOVE you if you read my blogs. It's like knowing I'm crazy, but wanting to know how I tick. I love it.
So.
Let me first address the title. I believe that God likes to call me Lovely. Because that's truly how He thinks of me. As his lovely. And I think it's just between me and you (the blog) that I'm called that. That's why I sign LL...for Lovely Leah. Because I LOVE being called that. Like your Dad calling you "sweetie" or "hon" is just...comforting.
Okay. To points.
1- How much GOD truly loves you...
----If you've been reading my blog or know me AT ALL, you'll know that I try to understand (to the best of my fleshly ability) how much God TRULY loves me. And I want you (the reader) and EVERYONE ELSE to know that as well!
2-How He can be your best, closest friend.
----I don't know if I deleted the blog I wrote about this...but truly being in the wilderness with my closest friend--Jesus. Even through the flames, he's right there holding my hand. He's a shoulder to cry on when the whole world as turned its back on me. He knows me better than I know myself!
3-How to hear His voice...
----Dear goodness. I work at this EVERY DAY. Hearing is voice is one thing...LISTENING and discerning his requests from my own thoughts is the real punch. But I want to hear him!
-will you do what He asks you to do?
-I wanna say yes to this little dash as well. Not just a "yeah" but a "YES!"
4-You will understand more clearly why people are the way they are.
----I'm understanding more and more. With every broken heart and crappy argument, I'm understanding.
5- You will realize more specifically the things you are really good at... and how our LORD wants to use those talents.
----Goodness me, how I've learned. I think I wrote about it a few blogs back (actually QUITE a few blogs back) about how I was asking "God, you've told me what I was and what I am, tell me what I will be. PLEASE." And he has. He hasn't given me every detail to what I have to do, but I know enough to rest in His plan for my future. I should rest in His plan even if I didn't get that word. Well I'm resting in it, regardless! But my talents ARE God's.
6-You will find satisfaction and perfect peace as you unite with Jesus...more than ever before!
----I told Aundi about a dream I had a couple days ago...long story short, I was told that to save multiple others, me and Elijah had to die. I cried--I cried for all the people we were leaving behind. I didn't cry because I was GOING TO DIE, but because these people would miss me. But I felt like God (even in my dream, funnily enough) was telling me "Lovely, they'll miss you. But they'll see you soon." But I had peace. I KNEW for a fact that I was going to spend eternity worshiping the King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Ancient of Days, The One who was, who is, and is to come! And dying would all be worth it. But I couldn't get over the fact that I was going to leave these people behind. Like I had so much more to accomplish with them--so many more lives to save!
I didn't think about how I'd never have children, never get married, never even graduate high school! I had a peace that is...indescribable. And I woke up and thought, "God. Wow. I have no doubt in you, and I've put my life COMPLETELY in your hands."
Although it may be a scary thought, it was a RELIEF. Yeah, I know. I'm saying it was a relief KNOWING I WAS GOING TO DIE. But like I already said, I want to worship the Lord for eternity!
So after waking up, like I said, I thought "wow."
I also realized how valuable my life is, and how quickly the end could come. God knows when the last word of the book also known as my life as been reached. When that ending, blank page is reached.
I have to make the most of every word up until that point. I don't know how many pages I have left, but I'm going to fill up those pages with the glory of God, worshiping in my fleshly body, spreading salvation to the lost! I want to get to know my Heavenly Father as best as I can while I'm still here.
And if I were to die tomorrow, I think I'd be alright. I'd freak out for about thirty seconds, running over everything I've never done, the children I never had, the husband I never met...then I'd realize that God had this written for my life before I was even a little fetus! He knows the EXACT moment I'll die.
That could sound creepy, or that could be comforting.
I find it comforting.
Death? ....Comforting? Of all things, comforting? It sounds crazy.
And even to me, it STILL sounds crazy. To my mind, it sounds crazy. To my spirit, heart, and soul, it sounds perfectly reasonable.
So. Back to number 6. Peace. I've been working at it. Having peace is also being patience, not being anxious...there's a number of things that coincide with peace.
Can I give you a random proverb that I just found? I was looking for the one I know on peace, but whatever. This is more important! It actually...applies to everything I JUST said.

"When calamity comes, the wicked are brought down,
but even in death the righteous have a refuge."
-Proverbs 14:32

With that dream...I took REFUGE in knowing death was right around the corner. In everything that was happening in my dream (calamity), I found peace in knowing that I was going to die.
And in being all calm about dying right now, I'm STILL listening to "No Reason".
I want to just go CRAZY for God, you know? You have no idea how badly I want you to understand!
That's my mission as a little point singer/ sometimes leader / mostly back choir mic singer....
to tell the other worshipers "Jesus IS here. There is TRUE joy found in Him! True peace. True LOVE. GO CRAZY!"
When I think of "Go CRAZY", it reminds me of some little kid monkey themed birthday party. No no, that's not crazy. Crazy is King David dancing so hard is robes fell off. THAT'S the crazy I want.
Without the loss of articles of clothing, preferably

Well, I'm not used to staying up too late.
Goodnight world and ALMOST happy birthday, Bundi!

-LL