Your love it broke my fall, it's more than enough than I needed

Well, I'll attempt to write a blog of some kind of depth. It's been a...busy day, I guess. Pulse stuff, mostly. Y'all know, since I saw half of you there today!
Anyway. Goodness, I have no idea where to start.
I'm about three minutes from an emotional breakdown...just because...I'm emotional like that. I need to release. I'm an extrovert like that. I internalize things until I just can't hold it any longer, and let them out in one short, but VERY emotional burst.
Let me start out with a rant, then convince myself I'm feeling this way for no reason.
As I've mentioned before (if you actually read my blogs, i love you) I used to feel COMPLETELY alone. And sometimes it sneaks up on me again. Which SUCKS. Like the kind where you think "well, I'll text somebody and maybe i'll snap out of it."
until you text like half your phonebook and everybody decides to ignore you.
Okay well, I'm exaggerating. Again, emotional Leah speaking. But it's like the devil will let me slip, then just keep shoving me down until I'm wallowing in my misery, drowning in discontent feelings, and looking for things in the wrong places.
If you know me, I've never gone too far with anything. With boys, with substance, with...I don't even know. You can pretty much put virgin behind any word (meaning i haven't done anything) and it would describe me. I'm quite proud of that.
Anyway. I kinda just had my breakdown...since "Hosanna" by Hillsong United came on. In Hebrew, Hosanna means praying save us!
So this song is like...save me God, save me. Please.
And this may sound stupid, but I feel like saying please to God is redundant. Yet I still do it! I mean, he knows the desires of my heart. He also knows everything that's gonna happen to me, but I still pray, right? Like yesterday. This is pretty funny, I gotta say.
So I was kinda worried about my grade in Bio last semester (don't laugh at me Amelia.)...so I finally got to the point (yesterday, obviously) where I could check it. I was praying like none other that I would NOT get a d. There was a slim chance at a b, a 50/50 at a c, and i don't know how much at a d.
Turns out I got a C. You have NO idea how happy I was. Yeah, I know I'm an underachiever. But still. Two c's in my entire life, and I'm pretty dang proud of that.
I seem to ramble, don't I? Well....that's what comes with loving me.
Well shoot. I'm in a better mood after a few heartfelt Hillsong songs and a text conversation with Aundi consisting of two texts.
And I guess after remembering my painting from the lovely Marianne..."Surely I am with you always, to the very ends of the age" -Matthew 28:20.
I think everybody has THEIR scripture, and this is mine. I find it funny that God lets me wallow in my emotions, then pulls me out of them. Kind of to say "I hate it when you do this, but you have to. You have to grow in Me, and even though you go through the fire, you're in the Potter's hands...being molded through the heat, modeled in my image, until you'll come out beautiful and complete in Me. But lovely, you're not there yet!"
And yet I think "God, let me be done. Hurry up. It's too hot. I can't feel you! Are you holding me? Don't drop me in the fire!"
So I've been writing this blog in continuation from Wednesday night to Thursday morning. And I just read Jeremiah 18:3-6...which I know means a lot to Morgan (at least 18:6)...since her sister told me that.
Anyway. Here it is.
"So I went down to the potter's house, and I saw him working at the wheel. But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the LORD came to me: 'O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter does?' declares the LORD. 'Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.'"
So I realized one of my new favorite (really actually old) hillsong songs is All For Love by Hillsong. Not United, just normal Hillsong. I LOVE it.
Which brings my favorite Hillsong United/Hillsong songs to:
"Came To My Rescue"
"Hosanna"
"From The Inside Out"
"Soon"
"King Of All Days"
"You Hold Me Now"
"Desert Song"
"All For Love"
"Shout To The Lord" (classic, obviously)
and a few others!
I love them all, but whenever I hear these certain ones, my heart just BREAKS.
From "Hosanna"....'break my heart for what breaks Yours"
and I just had to listen to "Shout To The Lord" like three times in a row. I LOVE that song. I remember listening to it in my car seat coming home from church with my parents and older brother. I was probably....four. Sitting in my carseat with my mary-janes, white tights, and headband with a bow. Elijah and I would attempt to sing the words, but with me not knowing words very well, I used phonetics!
Ah well. Long rant. Sorry all.
I love you all!
Danielle-Amelia-Kyra-Shelly-Sonia-Morgan-Sydney

Love,
The Always Lovely Leah
psalm 139:14 (and matthew 28:20, obviously =])