I'm found in the arms of love, Your love it has saved my soul

Well...sorry I haven't blogged in a while. Nobody else was blogging either! And for some reason I don't receive Michelle's updates.
By the way, Michelle, I LOVE your blog.
I actually love everybody's blogs in different ways.
Morgan's because of her everlasting joy and optimism
Amelia for her blunt, yet profound observations
Kyra for her humor and depth
Danielle for her prose poetry
Sonia for her interesting stories and just...how she makes me feel like "Wow, I really didn't know that. How did I miss that connection?"
Shelly just...I don't know why I like it. She doesn't put every detail in it, but I know what she's talking about. Like she's sparing me the emotions, while keeping me updated on what's going on.
I love it!

I just don't know what to write anymore. I'll write a TON when I get home, updating the world of blogs on my adventures in the land of Coca-cola, chiggers, country music, southern accents, sunburns, no reception, possessed Obama dogs, and tubing!
I missed going to church. Okay actually...I did go to my cousin's church, but it's WAY different. I've realized how much I've come to love pulse...and how much my passion for worshiping God has grown!

On that note...I guess that'll be my rant for today.
So a couple blogs back, I said that I don't think I'd like to be involved in theatre much anymore. God has REALLY taken this passion out of my heart.
Like you know when you have that boyfriend where you realize "What am I doing? I have no feelings for him whatsoever. Why am I dragging this out?"
and sometimes you try to convince yourself that the feelings are just...different. Like you need to expand your boundaries (emotional, mental, ESPECIALLY physical) to get that...excitement again.
But when I hear a deep worship song, I wanna cry. EVERY SINGLE TIME. I hate my tear flow. I cry like ten times the amount of normal people. But I guess if God leads me to cry, I'll cry.
Anyway. Like listening to "You Hold Me Now" from Across the Earth // Tear Down the Walls by Hillsong United...I'd never really LISTEN and soak in the lyrics, but on the 4th when I was listening to music while trying to take a little nap...it hit me. Like running into a wall of just...conviction? I don't really know the word.
I've been told multiple times "God is with you. You're never alone. He has you in the palm of His hand. Your thoughts are not your own." and it catches up with me...hence the wall.
Especially considering the lyrics
"No weeping / no hurt or pain
No sovereign / You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness / no sick or lame
No hiding / You hold me now
You hold me now"
and I have this image in my mind of that...being held like a little girl in the arms of our Creator, just...weeping. But when I think of it, I get the verse "...weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!"
Boy do I have some joy then!
Anyway. In this "word picture", I don't feel bad for crying all over God's robes of righteousness. And he doesn't mind either. It's just holding and being held...and not wanting anything else. I don't just wanna weep all over God, get over it, then come running back when something else leaves my heart battered and bruise. I want to rejoice in God for His goodness and mercy, for his love that never leaves me, for the comforting love of a Father for his daughter, dancing in his Presence because of his...awesomeness! I want it all! And I love that He loves me SO MUCH. That I was made in his image...known before I was shaped in my mother's wound!
That just...catches me, you know? That somebody loves EVERY SINGLE THING about me!
Right down to my weirdly shaped pinky toes and un-perfect teeth.

Okay I'm done ranting. I think I'm gonna go catch a fish.
WAAAIIITTTT.
I caught a fish on the fourth of July. It was frickin SWEET. I was pretty excited.

anyway.
-The Always Lovely Leah
Psalm 139:14