Gray's my favorite color, black and white has never been my thing...

Gray by Barlow Girl. That's the song used as a title today.
Have you ever noticed that? I either use quotes from movies or songs. Or song titles, or....yeah.

Can I just say that I love you all? Your blogs make me laugh, have made me cry a little, have made me think about truly being happy, being loved, and living.
So I'll write a little something about all of the blogs I read, starting with Kyra.
Then I will ACTUALLY write a blog. This one will be EXTREMELY long, so buckle your seatbelts and grab some apple juice.
Kyra- You never cease to amaze me with your prose poetry, also known as your blog. We both have similar titles, I think...after songs. But "Stranger In Paradise" and "Life On Mars" have the same concept, ya know?
Being someone or something that doesn't belong. And I think that describes us, I guess. You really make me laugh. With your love child, Dave JR., and your crazy dreams about wearing a brand you've never worn in your ENTIRE life. You address things that people always think about, but never talk about. I could say so much more, but tis' getting to be a long paragraph thing. I love you, Algebra II buddy.
Amelia- Again, your blog is truly poetic. You and Kyra kinda just run away with ideas, but they always end up making sense in the end. Ha ha this is why I use bullets. "Life Under the Apple Tree" I guess how I would relate it to your life is things aren't always good, but it's pretty and you enjoy what comes. I don't know. I know you like apples and you like "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree", but it applies to you more than you know. You're really honest, and I like that about you. You call me stupid, and then we laugh about how stupid we are. "Matchmaker matchmaker make me a match..."
And in the field when we made up lyrics to Jane Eyre the musical "Oh no! There's a FFFIIIIRRREEEE"
Morgan- I think your random posts make the world go round. I've found out a lot about you just from reading your extremely entertaining blog...and I really like getting to know you. Like handing out fliers was a lot of fun. With Sarah Hopp's BUTT IN MY FACE! And how I draw with crayons in the summer. Your joy never ceases to amaze me, and obviously, a lot of people want it since so many have asked. You're really strong and faith, which I also envy. And you have a pretty smile =]
Sydney-Dear goodness woman. My sole drama girlie. Speaking of which we have practice next week. But...we have had some good times "I'm a rock! I'm a rock" "I'm a tree?" "I'm going to cut you down with this...guitar?" You really make me laugh. You and your siblings are so similar, but SO different. And I like that about you. You're not very careful (in a good way) when you say things (again, in a good way. I don't know how, but it's just funny) and you like to laugh. I hope I get to know you and Morgan much better over the summer and next school year through pulse.

Well, there was my internet/blog yearbook. There's so much I could've written, but I HAVE A DEADLINE PEOPLE!
Not really. But don't I sound important if I do?

So onto discussing Kyra's blog.
Elijah, mi hermano whom I love dearly, I find to be gray. Hannah, mi hermanita, I also find gray. My parents are black and white, sometimes not in a good way, but usually if you know what you want "seek and ye shall find", right? I think my faith influences my foundation!
"On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand"
^this line is used in scripture, and NUMEROUS songs.
Knowing that I truly have Somebody that loves me, that is what got me hooked on God. I mean, besides the whole gift of salvation and never having to live alone or without Him. That is AWESOME. But like I've been saying a lot lately, the Lord is the relentless lover. You ARE his first love. He wants you back. More than anything else. His thoughts for you outnumber the grains of sand on the ENTIRE earth. You are "fearfully and wonderfully made" in the image of God.
So I was thinking about the question that I get on fatih A LOT from people--
"Why doesn't everybody love Him? If He was God, he could make people love him and know him"
to which I say (this is going to sound bizarre)
watch Bruce Almighty. You know the scene where Jen Aniston is walking away, and Jim Carrey throws out his hand and yells "LOVE ME!"
but if that would've worked (other than that Morgan Freeman [that's who plays god, right?] tells him he can't) you have to wonder "Does she really love him now? Or is she loving because he told her too?"
I mean, really. If you could have the HOTTEST guy on earth love you on command, it would get old after a while. Like "Yeah yeah you said I was hott yesterday. Okay you really need to stop saying I love you"
but with free will, it's much more fulfilling, you know? They could love anybody else, but they choose YOU. And I think that's why it hurts me so bad being dumped.
Because they say "I love you", and then it's like they're saying "You're not good enough for me. I chose to "love" you, but now I'm choosing not to. And I know I shouldn't think of it that way, and I don't think I do anymore. That's how it was with Nick anyway. After being on the emotional rollercoaster of anger, jealousy, bitterness, regret, and just...hurt.
I hurt for a long time after that. Emotionally. I felt like...I had wasted my "I love yous" on somebody that I KNEW I wouldn't marry. And if I did, I think people would've freaked out. Whack babies and all. And when people would say "Can you see yourself marrying him?"
I'd say "I dunno" when I really meant "No. It might last for a while, but no"
And it lasted for a little while.
Again, with the black and white. We always flip flopped.
BUT ANYWAY back to the relentless lover. He gave us a choice, being that we could TRULY love him and say "God, I surrender to You. Lord, have Your way in me. I love You. Jesus Christ, take my life, take all of me."
It's really hard not to shove "religion" down people's throats, as they would say.
But I don't call it a religion. It's a relationship with the Most High God. I pray, I talk to him, I worship how awesome He is, what He's done for me, and when He's coming back. Goodness, I'm excited for when he comes back! If you'd like to share my excitement...listen to "Soon" by Hillsong United
"Soon and very soon, my King is coming...clothes in righteousness and crowned with love..."
I really just listen to that and melt. I'm SO excited for the second coming. Almost so much so that it scares people. And I want people to be excited too! To say "I'll sit with the Lord of Lords at the wedding feast of the lamb, then ascend to heaven and worship the Lord for eternity"
Now I think it's time for some bullets. Some relating to this, some not.

• Eternity is a VERY VERY VERY long time. Forever. You kinda have to wrap your mind around the word. Forever. "For everlasting time; eternally".
  
• I think already said this in the last few blogs, but Matt kinda butted heads with me Saturday night about truly being saved, KNOWING there's a god, who is actually God (!), and knowing that he has a young man picked out especially for me that I can truly love FOREVER (ah dang there's the word again) I think that's why his whole philosophy is "Life sucks, then you die". Because he has no hope for himself, or for the world. Mankind as a whole.
• Now on to randomness
• I just had a strawberry cheesecake yogurt. It reminded me of Janelle, since she LOVES cheesecake. I was there when this whole obsession started.
• I stayed up until like 12:30 talking to my Mom about her women's conference. I realized how much I don't talk to her.
• I slept for a half hour and I kept hearing this noise...like people were throwing grains of rice outside my wall, not even kidding. So I sat there for fifteen minutes listening...in the dark. So I turned on the lights, and this GINORMOUSSSSSS moth popped out of my curtains. I was so scared that I just started speaking in tongues HAHAHAHA! Seriously. I realized I'm absolutely terrified of moths. And I have this thing that I CAN'T kill them. They're too...furry. And they don't squish very well. So I wake up Hannah, tell her to watch the moth, and run and get a plastic cup in the kitchen. By now, it's a well 1:30 AM and I'm running around my room screaming trying to catch a moth. WHO CRAWLED UNDER MY BED! I had to throw my slippers around because I WOULD NOT touch it. I caught it, when downstairs, released it outside, turned off the lights, and my mom got up and said "What's the matter?" And I told her it was a moth. And half asleep, she laughed at me. Gee, thanks mom. Thanks for laughing at my fear. And I FINALLY went to sleep.
• Aundi liked her pizza trophy drawing. I think. Or at least she acted like it. Sometimes I don't know what goes on in her mind or what she really thinks about me. I'd like to know, but then again, I don't. Because I really trust and like Aundi. We're extremely similar, while at the same time, we're different. Mostly because she's almost 19 and I'm almost 16. But anyway. And I found out we're the exact same size. Or at least, almost. Trying on the clothes she gave me last night made me feel NOT tiny. So I texted her and said "Goodness gracious how tiny are you woman???" And we ended up talking about baby names. That's how it works between us. Randomess to the power of infinity.
  
• My stomach feels like crap. No good =[
• I wish Kyra would blog more often.
• I think I'm gonna run out of room to write.
• This blog officially took me almost an hour to write. Or at least 45 minutes, from what I've seen.

Comments are always appreciated =] that or blogs in response, such as Kyra's. Which I enjoyed IMMENSELY!

-The Always Lovely Leah
(3 days shy of 16 years old)